Words of Roaring: Jesus Wept

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.” Psalms‬ ‭22:1-2‬ ‭

“Jesus wept.” John 11:35

A heavy heart first drafted this post many months ago because of a post I had read that day. Times haven’t changed much since then. We are all struggling with our feelings since this pandemic. Different situations, but the feelings are the same. So many are hurting! All around, people are going through the fire.

This particular post was very raw and emotionally riddled with pain, questioning, anger, depression, sickness, financial need and shame.

Because of it, my mind reluctantly revisited a place I had gotten to over ten years ago. Desperately hungry and broken, I was blessed to attend a ladies comference that year in the month of September. I will take a moment to insert here, that if our world ever gets back to half-way normal, you owe it to yourself to attend one. If you are a guy, Men’s conferences are very enriching, as well. They are totally life-changing!!

Anyways, back to the step backwards in time…Our finances were in shambles. We were broke and debt-ridden, in spite of being on a tight budget. My husband and daughter (who was still living at home at the time) both had a lot of health issues. I even put my own health on the back burner because of the doctor visits, testing, hospital bills and surgeries resulting from all this. We had made some serious financial mistakes, as well. Bills were piling up fast!

I struggled daily with depression, worry for the future, how to fix things myself, wanting to take control of the reigns of my life, how to create budget-friendly meals to feed my family and dreams of being free of debt. I was in a terrible disarray of negativity and mental anguish.

Two friends gave me the money to go to the conference. They felt strongly that I needed to go. One was a single mom, with struggles of her own.

At first, pride would not let me consider taking a penny from anyone. I argued for several minutes that I would NOT take the gift from either, until the single mother of three said these words to me: “Please don’t rob my blessing.”

That did it for me. It completely broke down any resolve I had left AND foolish pride.

So I went. Every word seemed geared towards me. The speaker, named Vani Marshal, gave her testimony of how God had revealed Himself to her. My heart was greatly touched.

At altar call, she went through the crowd, praying with as many ladies as possible. It was obvious lots were hurting. Most were sobbing, including myself. She spoke something into my ear answering the question I had been asking in prayer, “Why, Lord? Can’t you fix all this? You are God, after all.”

Some would say we should never question God. Although, I do think we should trust that He knows exactly what He is doing in every area and aspect of our lives.

Just like Abraham, we can be a FRIEND of God.

That means we can have a “real” relationship with Him. We can be honest with Him about anything. Would we not do the same with any of our best friends?

Can’t we all relate to the suffering that daily life brings? The wormwood and the gall of it all? If you get a chance read Lamentations 3:1-58. It’s very lengthy reading, so I won’t include it here.

Life is not a bowl full of cherries. There is beauty on every corner, as well as troubles. We will hurt. We will get sick. We will hurt others. They will hurt us. When we get cut, we bleed. We don’t have many answers down here.

BUT WE DO HAVE THIS TRUTH: Each of us are loved very dearly and truly by God.

Nothing can separate us from Him. Not even our pain or the questioning–

Nothing but us.

Not even the enemy can make us. We have a mind to do what we want. We choose.

We will have terrible days that we wished we were dead or never born. (Being real here)

We will have good days. We will have lots of “wait on me, it’s not time yet” days. We will stomp our feet in our spirits at times, because we don’t want to hurt, we don’t want another day of waiting in the waiting room!

Through it all, there is a purpose for our pain. God allows struggles to shape our character and faith. He refines us, so we can endure the race that is set before us.

We become stronger and stronger to endure.

Keep running my friend!

If you can no longer run, walk.

If you can’t walk, crawl.

Keep pressing!

There is a prize to be won at the end of your race! You shall see His face! You won’t have to cry anymore “one day.”

There will be no more financial burdens, hurt feelings, weary bodies or minds.

Until then, remember that even Jesus wept.

Give yourself room for your feelings. It won’t always be like this, my friend. I can say this with confidence, because I am on the other side of that terrible financial trial.

Victory is coming!

Run.

Walk.

Crawl.

But keep moving!

For those who may be interested, I’m including a link to my friend, Wendi’s book, I wish I had back during our financial struggles. It’s filled with practical budget-friendly tips to help with meals and every area of a tight budget.

Frugal Seeds: 501 Ways to Make, Save or Stretch a Dollar/by Charlie Lee Austin

Here’s Wendi‘s blog. Check it out and give her a follow!

https://simplychronicallyill.com/2020/10/05/haiku-fear/

19 comments

  1. Thank you Renee! I’m crawling at moment and I truly needed this. I will be sharing this with Big D in the morning at work.

    Possibly Angie if she calls this week. She has put own health on the back burner dealing with her parents😥 I’ve texted all week…no response. This morning she said she has been sick😭

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, Stu, I’ve been praying for Angie and you today, right after I wrote this post and many others here who came to my mind. 🙏🏼 I’m saying a prayer for Big D right now!

      You are welcome. I think some of us may even be limping at this point! It’s one of those posts that started out different and went totally in a completely different direction. God sure knows what we all need!
      Will be praying for you both and Big D.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Debbie, I am so sorry this tore you up! Girl let it all out! That just comforted me today to know that Jesus wept. Many times we try to lock our feelings up and throw away the key. But Jesus wept, for all the world to see. He didn’t hold nothing back. I’m praying for you my sweet, beautiful friend that there will be better days soon on the horizon. I love you so much, and I’m here for you! 💜🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  2. SHEW, girl! That was so good!! I can agree with every word because I’ve been in some similar situations and KNOW that what you are saying is true! I pray that someone else reads it and draws from the Truths you’ve put into this ❤ Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We all have moments, when we weep. Moments when we sleep. Moments when the hurt is deep. Moments when we don’t even want to creep. But, when get on our feet; run, walk, crawl, to the foot of the saviours heart. His love will help us, keep moving! God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow… I don’t really know what to say…

    The other day (like yesterday) I was sobbing… I had finally held it in as long as I could and then I just broke… and then I was like “why are you crying? You need to suck it up… you deserve this” and then just as that thought left my head another one popped into my head and it was simply

    “Jesus wept”…

    So I finished having my moment and I walked out of the bathroom like nothing ever happened…

    All I can say is thank you for this! It was a God sent… It reminded me that I need to keep crawling even though I can’t walk right now… I don’t even know if I can crawl right now…

    But thank you! Love you my friend!❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • V, I hope things are better with you! I’m not sure where my comment went to here. 😢 As I was responding to another comment today, I didn’t see the comment I had written you earlier when this post was written. Maybe you saw it back then.

      Sometimes our inner being hides our emotions away. We feel we are being strong, and we are to an extent. We suck it up and put one foot in front of the other.

      My father was taught to be a man, you did not show tears. So I tried to be the same way. It was hard at first to run to my Heavenly Father when I needed to jump into His lap and just let it all out and cry. As a child I tried not to cry in front of people and ran to my room and cried quietly.
      It’s ok to let our emotions out. It’s healthy. And it’s also ok to go behind closed doors. He understands and wants us to know, that to be a man or a woman is to show our tears, our emotions, the things that bother us. He led by example. Jesus wept. And so should we, whenever, wherever we feel comfortable.

      Love you Baby Girl! I’m so glad God is close to our hearts, right there in our hearts. 💜💜💜

      Liked by 1 person

    • Richard, thank you for that reminder! I love this scripture! It makes me think of an equation. All equal and work for our good!

      Tribulations= patience=experience=hope=not ashamed; BECAUSE the ❤️ of God is in our ❤️❤️ by the Holy Ghost which is given to us.
      ‭‭

      Like

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